Sunday, April 3, 2011

New Segment: Ask Kelly

You may have found it surprising how few emotional problems the cousins of CousinsEverAfter seem to have. Well, we would like to reveal our secret... We share a psychiatrist by the name of Kelly. Whether our problems be our love-life, family, or emotional damage done by the mean bullies on the playground, she has always helped us work through all of these problems with love and sarcasm. Now though, we have realized: why keep her to ourselves? We have convinced her to start a segment on here called "Ask Kelly," where Kelly will answer an anonymous question submitted by you, the reader, with an equal amount of love and sarcasm! So please submit your questions for answering!

We never know when we might need her, so our psychiatrist travels with us. Even to Boston!
Here, she is shown helping us overcome our mutual fear of glow-in-the-dark trees!

Levi with our psychiatrist as she helps him overcome his fear of wearing green gloves while in a moving subway car!
Jonah with our psychiatrist as she helps him overcome his fear of having his teeth change colors!
Our psychiatrist can act goofy, but she's SERIOUSly awesome!
Our psychiatrist is willing to see us anywhere! Jonah and our psychiatrist at her office in DC as she helps him overcome his fear of looking at neon waves while standing on docks at night.
Remember... she will always listen!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Are YOU Ready For Friday??

Serious question for you all!
Are you a fan of Rebecca Black's catchy lyrics and cute personality in her new song, "Friday?"
(If not, see HERE. Watch that, then you will be.)
Think we could sing that song with even cuter personalities and make those lyrics even catchier??
Yes?
Well then show us that you mean it! (even if you don't!)
If we get FIFTY (50) subscribers to this blog, we will post a parody of "Friday" by Rebecca Black.
Now, you may be wondering why we would want to cover this, or why you would want us to want to cover this. The answer is simple. Rebecca's sharp intellect and desire to teach in this song is very evident with her lyrics, "Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday/Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin’)/Tomorrow is Saturday/And Sunday comes afterwards." Also, her line, "which seat can I take?" shows deep internal dilemmas that really resonate with us and our generation. We want to really spread the message of this song to as many people as possible.
WILL YOU HELP US?
We need fifty subscribers to make this happen. Will you answer the call and help us spread this song to those who have not been fortunate enough to hear it yet?

So please prove it and subscribe! :] (and tell your friends to subscribe too, please!)


Love always,
You favorite cousins,
Jonah and Levi.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Comments or Suggestions Anyone??? - a genuine perspective on the progress of Mosaic Church

Last week I was asked by my pastor to interview a number of different individuals in the church to get their honest to goodness feedback in regards to what they have to say about their church. My goal was to really hone in on what we as a church were doing right... and what as a church could we do to improve.



I will say however, that conducting an interview is much harder than I thought... but I think I managed to keep everyone focused on the importance of this interview.

-Jonah G.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Single Guys Say it Best When it Comes to Relationships...

Relationships is something we take part in and deal with on an everyday basis... Our church pastor asked us if we could give some of our own personal advice and perspective on the topic of relationships in regards to a message being preached on the subject last week. Levi and I (Jonah) were more than happy to oblige his request and decided to produce a video recounting age old advice for the here and now. We both hope our insight will inspire you to take your relationships to the next level with the love and admiration of 
God in your heart.


Bless you all...

Sincerely,
~Reverend Jonah Timothy Rodriguez and Levi Francis Copenhagen

Sunday, February 27, 2011


I have always been fascinated by the psychology of relationships. I often like to go to coffee shops and read a book while drinking my favorite drink: white mocha with a shot of raspberry. I have never been a fan of white chocolate for some reason, but in coffee it tastes delectable.

Anyway, that is not the point of this discussion. As I sit in a coffee shop, I often observe couples on dates and find their nonverbal communication to be fascinating. I can always tell when a couple feels comfortable with each other, or when I think that the couple I am observing is on an awkward first date. I love to watch how the conversation flows (or does not) and how the two interact. Call me creepy, but I think all of us people-watch from time to time.
But let us back up for a moment, if we shall, and talk about an aspect of the flirtation process that is always so awkward no matter who it is with. I am talking about that nonverbal communication known as eye contact. This is generally a result of “the stare.” 

               I can best describe this in terms of being in a public room with someone you are interested in, so let us take a specific location like school.
                  
              During the first week of school, every guy, and I assume every girl, (I have to speak for the guys here since I am one) scopes out who they think is the most attractive person. Once a guy has decided who he likes or deems as the most attractive lady, what follows is usually a series of long intense stares at the desired female. In this initial stage, the goal is to get as many stares in without the other person actually knowing you are staring at them. This is tricky and takes skill because one quick glance from her while you are staring at her could ruin the whole operation. After all, you don’t want her to know that you have been staring at her for like thirty minutes, (even though you have) because that would be ultra creepy, and she would never like you. So the obvious answer is to pretend like you are looking in her general direction and that she just happens to be in your line of sight. A helpful tip would be to focus on other objects or people that are near her to mask your actual intentions. This is a skill that takes practice to master, but must be mastered in order to avoid the often inevitable: her catching your wayward glances in her immediate direction.
              Her eyes catching your eyes is not always a bad thing, though. The first time she catches you, a thought in your mind occurs that usually goes something like, “OH CRAP, she saw me, RUN.”. You then immediately look in another direction, pretending that you have not been staring at her. You may not even look back at her for a few minutes to make sure that she knows you are not a creeper and for once, you may actually focus on the teacher! But then, against all logic, you perform the action again; you look back, except this time there is more risk involved, and instead of hoping she is not looking at you, something inside of you is hoping that she is checking you out too.

             So let’s say she catches you staring at her, again. What has just developed is an awkward stare down, and neither of you quite knows what is going on. I have found myself in this situation, and it quickly turns into a game of who will give up the stare first. Because as you two sit there staring at each other, feeling stupidly vulnerable, each of you is waiting for the other person to do something, (although you do not quite know what), so you look away and think, “Wow. That was awkward.”Okay so let us fast forward because after all, you probably have more important things to do than read this article.

Anyway, so let us say that this stare down has happened multiple times and multiple days in class. If you both are digging each other, what usually follows is “the smile” stage of the flirting process. And now you are like, “Sweet! We are smiling! This is good! This must mean that she is totally into me!” (Because of course that is what smiling must mean!) So you smile back and feel a bit stupid, but at least smiling is better than staring awkwardly at each other. This continues over a few days in class and you are wondering if anyone else can you see you two smiling in class and you are thinking, “Wow. I wonder how many people are noticing this. I wonder how many are tweeting about the silly lovebirds in class who cannot pay attention because they are so busy smiling at each other.” (Give yourself a break though, because guess what.. nobody cares that you are smiling.. nobody else besides you, the most desperate and love-blinded fool in the room, thinks that there is anything going on between two smiling people.) But who gives a crap. You two are both smiling, and smiling is still really nice.
           
               But my friends, I have saved the best for last. This gesture of our nonverbal human communication is the most significant of all the flirtation processes that are associated between two people. What I am referring to is “the wave.”

    Oh yes, if you get her to wave at you, then you have done something special, my friend. Here is this super attractive girl, who, while you may not actually know her that well, has NOT ONLY stared back at you and given you smiles, but is NOW making an effort to extend her arm slightly in the air, not care what the fellow students think, and make a swooshing movement with her hand that says to you, “I want you.” (Because all that effort on her part SCREAMS “I want you!”)

I mean, maybe I’m exaggerating this, but you get the point. She is acknowledging that you exist in this world, so you vulnerably wave back with the same intentions, hoping that she too is understanding that this wave transcends modern interpretations of “the wave,” and screams back “I want you too!” It is no longer a gesture of welcome, but practically a gesture of marriage! I mean, the most attractive (to you) girl in the school just waved at you! –Maybe this is an exaggeration, but only maybe. So you are thinking “Cool. We are waving. This is a really good thing.”

So now that she has stared at you, smiled at you, AND waved at you (practically sealing her commitment to you), you decide to embark on the final stage of this flirt-journey: “The ask-out.” In this final stage, you must carefully choose your time and place, and VERBALLY state your feelings for her. (This can’t be THAT hard, right? You have pretty much done it in every NON-verbal way… right?) So prepare everything carefully, maybe choose a discreet spot.. ya know.. in front of the whole school… where everyone will be able to witness this masterpiece when you, humble-beginnings little you, have the most attractive (to you) girl in the entire school accept your offer of marr—I mean, your offer of a relationship.. Prepare yourself though, because guess what? It turns out that she missed the memo. She somehow did not understand that staring, smiling, and waving are simply prequels to a relationship. And here you are embarking on “the ask-out” stage, when really, you need to be embarking on the “Buy  some ben and jerrys and The Notebook, lay out on a comfy couch, and let yourself cry (which you can of course always blame on the high air to dust ratio)” Stage.
              
              I hope this article has brought out something obvious that no one ever talks about but that we all can associate with: the many awkward and painful stages of the flirt-journey.  I hope my over-analyzing nature has brought comfort to you and that you know you are not alone in this crazy world. That is all for now, until I come up with some more awkward moments to share.

-Levi Ouimet

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

The Things I Ponder...


So I got off of work today and made a straight B-Line (what on earth is a "B-line" anway?) to the coffee shop for some coffee (no duh) and a little reading... But amidst my warm cup 'O coffee I started reflecting on a few things in my life that seem to always get my gord. Here is one I would first like to cover.

Peave #1. Don't you just loathe when amidst your tranquil experience in the Bathroom, out of the blue an earth shaking knock is heard on your bathroom door. Yet after the third knock and ones anticipation to hear the voice of another ring out proclaiming some such notion as perhaps "Hurry up... I can't hold it anymore!" .........just that occurs......... NOTHING... not a peep, not even the most silent vibration of another's vocal chords. It's as if someone began to sing Happy Birthday, yet left off at Happy only to ostracize one's need for resolution. I mean... was it going to be Happy Birthday? Happy Hanukkah? Happy Kwanza? (Still totally don't believe that's any sort of real holiday) Happy Christmas? (That's what they say in Europe)

Yet back in the bathroom you sit in silence... in the most vulnerable of situations... beginning to wonder what the purpose of that knock was... You yearn for resolution. Calling out (more like shouting out) "YEAH??? who knocked? What do you need?" Still no reply. It's like all cliff hangers.......... They suck. Now you're beginning to get concerned with the lack of response... What if by some freak chance the Russians have invaded your very neighborhood and that knock on your bathroom door was your only warning. Do you rush out prematurely? Lacking special attention to much needed hygiene nowadays, or do you hope for the best, try to reformulate your frame of mind, finish your duties and re-enter society calm, cool, collective, and now confident and ready to face all obstacles in your way. Yet, if by some chance that freak chance of Russians invading your neighborhood was in fact reality, the additional twenty minutes of contemplation in the bathroom might not have served you so well... walking out with confidence only to be surrounded by a bunch of KGB. Or even worse, the KGB kick the door in on you and you have absolutely NOTHING but cheap and sandpapery single ply toilet paper to defend yourself with... Not to mention having a stranger, who also is a foreigner, can't speak English, and is pointing a gun at you, tends to make one feel ever so slightly uncomfortable and embarrassed given the current situation (Yes, sometimes single ply and Ramen is all one can afford).

Needless to say, whatever you come to face upon the opening of that door, the one thing we all know is whoever banged on that door, totally messed with your chi and now you're going to be wondering all day who the heck that culprit was and why they disturbed your very few moments of real solitude and time of reflection in the day.

Yes... you might think this is a random thought to ponder... But I guarantee this can't only be my frustration.

-Jonah Guelzo

Friday, February 11, 2011

Cousins, Marvelous Mac and Cheese, and Lot of Love.

As we had several inquiries about this marvelous macaroni and cheese, we decided we would share it with our loyal fans! :) 


This meal makes about 2 servings for 2 teenage guys.


Ingredients:
2 Boxes of Elbow Macaroni 
2 pounds of Sharp Cheddar Cheese
2 Cans of Cheese Soup
1 Can of Stewed Tomatoes
1 Can of Condensed Milk (Regular Frozen milk would also suffice) 
1 Jar of Bread Crumbs
1 Whole heck of a lot of Love.



*Baby bottle not required.
Directions:
1. First select your favorite pot from your cupboard (Not to be confused with the type of pot one would use to get high).

real cooking pot


smoking pot (DO NOT USE IN THIS RECIPE!)











2. Walk to the sink or selected dispenser of water and fill pot about half-way high. 
Our water dispenser of choice.
3. Select another pot (smaller than the first pot) to add your cheese soup and condensed milk to. Heat on low. 

4. Start shredding your cheese into a large bowl. Shred carefully (Wouldn't want you harming yourself :)

5. Once your soup and condensed milk has blended nicely and are warm enough, add the shredded cheese to the pot.


6. Slowly add macaroni and cheese to now boiling water. It is important to use elbow macaroni as arm and leg macaroni is very difficult to find in stores and tastes a bit fleshy.
Side note: You will be able to tell if the water is boiling by small pockets of air emerging rapidly from the bottom to the surface. Do not be disturbed if hot steam arises rapidly as you pour the macaroni in. This is caused by the water's reaction to the disturbance by the macaroni. We will explain this in a later blog. (much later)


Co-cook, Levi Ouimet adds macaroni to dish carefully.

Here, we have enlarged the photo to show more action.
7. Carefully take boiling water over the sink (make sure no young children or pets are around, as you would not want to spill this on them) and drain excess water in a colander. 


8. Put macaroni noodles in your favorite flat 9x12 glass pan. 


9. Carefully pour cheese sauce over noodles (Drizzle slowly for a nice even spread). 

Co-chef, Jonah Guelzo, demonstrating correct drizzling technique.

Here, we have enlarged the photo to show more action.
10. Bake on 375 degrees (Make sure to pre-heat the oven) for about 40 min, or until top of macaroni is a pleasant golden brown. 
This is an oven.
11. Carefully pick two pot holders and open the oven doors slowly (the last thing you want to do is burn yourself before enjoying this delectable meal). 


12. Toast your accomplishments. Not all teenage guys are able to concoct a meal as complicated and delicious as this one.  (GO US!)
A job well done deserves a toast!
13. Extra credit if you are able to make such a delicious meal while also wearing cute and fashionable, yet beneficial clothing. Below, we are modeling an exemplary version of this.
Fashionable AND will keep you clean!