The Things I Ponder...

So I got off of work today and made a straight B-Line (what on earth is a "B-line" anway?) to the coffee shop for some coffee (no duh) and a little reading... But amidst my warm cup 'O coffee I started reflecting on a few things in my life that seem to always get my gord. Here is one I would first like to cover.

Peave #1. Don't you just loathe when amidst your tranquil experience in the Bathroom, out of the blue an earth shaking knock is heard on your bathroom door. Yet after the third knock and ones anticipation to hear the voice of another ring out proclaiming some such notion as perhaps "Hurry up... I can't hold it anymore!" .........just that occurs......... NOTHING... not a peep, not even the most silent vibration of another's vocal chords. It's as if someone began to sing Happy Birthday, yet left off at Happy only to ostracize one's need for resolution. I mean... was it going to be Happy Birthday? Happy Hanukkah? Happy Kwanza? (Still totally don't believe that's any sort of real holiday) Happy Christmas? (That's what they say in Europe)

Yet back in the bathroom you sit in silence... in the most vulnerable of situations... beginning to wonder what the purpose of that knock was... You yearn for resolution. Calling out (more like shouting out) "YEAH??? who knocked? What do you need?" Still no reply. It's like all cliff hangers.......... They suck. Now you're beginning to get concerned with the lack of response... What if by some freak chance the Russians have invaded your very neighborhood and that knock on your bathroom door was your only warning. Do you rush out prematurely? Lacking special attention to much needed hygiene nowadays, or do you hope for the best, try to reformulate your frame of mind, finish your duties and re-enter society calm, cool, collective, and now confident and ready to face all obstacles in your way. Yet, if by some chance that freak chance of Russians invading your neighborhood was in fact reality, the additional twenty minutes of contemplation in the bathroom might not have served you so well... walking out with confidence only to be surrounded by a bunch of KGB. Or even worse, the KGB kick the door in on you and you have absolutely NOTHING but cheap and sandpapery single ply toilet paper to defend yourself with... Not to mention having a stranger, who also is a foreigner, can't speak English, and is pointing a gun at you, tends to make one feel ever so slightly uncomfortable and embarrassed given the current situation (Yes, sometimes single ply and Ramen is all one can afford).

Needless to say, whatever you come to face upon the opening of that door, the one thing we all know is whoever banged on that door, totally messed with your chi and now you're going to be wondering all day who the heck that culprit was and why they disturbed your very few moments of real solitude and time of reflection in the day.

Yes... you might think this is a random thought to ponder... But I guarantee this can't only be my frustration.

-Jonah Guelzo